My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
