She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
