Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Alive.
So much puke
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
