She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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