saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
