i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
