before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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