so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
