I just saw a hot homeless man
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
