so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
