I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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