i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
