What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
