HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
