sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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