Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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