I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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