How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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