i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
