I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
