Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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