if you like me you must not know who I am
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
