Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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