I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
