I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
