Me. At least after what I've been through.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
