I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
