YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize