worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
