They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think I sprained my soul last night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize