Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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