My first STD was from a foam party
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
