I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
