I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
