i permit you to call me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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