he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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