I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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