Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
