I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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