I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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