none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize