Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
