i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
