You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
