If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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