yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
