Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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