He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i now understand why vodka
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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