my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
