Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
soo... how was my night?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
