hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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