We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize