I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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