just tell him i said nine months
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
