im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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