idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
