So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
