quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
