i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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