3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
